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Pictures by Tim Flanagan
Its Bully Time!
A column by Tim Flanagan
The bully is not to be feared but pitied! Do not run from the bully or turn your back on someone being bullied! Why? Because as a society being a bully was accepted. Sometimes even glorified in TV and movies. The internet and social media has birthed a whole new breed of bully. The cyber bully. Sort of like the road bully, instead of a steering wheel to hide behind, they hide behind a computer screen. Not everyone is as strong as another, and bravery has many faces. Bullies come in all kinds of sizes, but they share one mindset. They pick on the weak, either of spirit or body.
Accountability is the target that should be planted on a bully's forehead. Why do people bully, and others do not? Simple, in a world of varying social evolution humans clash all the time. A less socially evolved person uses base instincts to survive and rationalize their life. It is easier to demand what you want instead of earning it. It is easier to make someone hate you than love you. Or is it? If you pitied and not hated what a blow to the insecure ego of a bully. If their demands were not met, they would have to take another direction. Take an apology for instance. Sure, it is tough to say I am sorry. Why? The ego! But when you do, an amazing thing takes place. The air is cleared, the resentment gone or at least diminished. You just helped yourself and another person with one simple action. Sure, there are different levels of bullies. Some are more annoying than dangerous. Some obviously are dangerous. What can we do about them? My son was told to defend himself no matter what. That got him forty-two days of suspension in his senior year and me many trips to the principal. Schools are a breeding ground for bullies. There they find the weak. They find the buttons to push. They learn your habits and insecurities. My son allowed himself to be choked by another student rather than getting suspended again and face repeating the school year.
How is that cool or acceptable? It is not cool or acceptable! It is sad that this happens to our kids by other children, some the product of parenting. Some people learn to be bad, and some are born that way. Listen people, I do not and will not ever walk away or look away if someone is being bullied or threatened. Years of being bullied myself, not for being weak but for being a situational target. Stand up with someone against a bully. Two usually weakens their resolve. Speak up to someone if you know another child is being hurt in some way. Do you want to be that person that has regrets? When this world and all its bad, negative and ugly people take the life of a child through suicide it breaks the heart! So, screw what the school says, screw what others will think! Does it matter what they think when it comes down to rescuing someone from the grips of a bully? It's smack down time people. Do it with words, writings, intervention or just a good old fashioned smackdown if necessary. My friend Kevin told me about a lifelong childhood friend who was rescued by him from the physical assault from a bully. The boy had palsy! Who would beat up a handicapped child? Someone who needs drastic accountability! That was Kevin's first fight and he defended someone who needed it. He gained a lifelong friend, and the little boy with palsy escaped the horror of an everyday attack! I remember those attacks. I remember that fear! I didn't have a Kevin, and there was always more than one. Bullies sometimes flock together, like ducks. Isn't it bully time?